Looking Out My Window Through the Pain
by Amanda M. Daugherty
Summary: Mac gets a phone call in the middle of the night that will change her life.


Title: Looking Out My Window Through the Pain  
Author: Amanda M. Daugherty  
E-mail: Country_girl_2003@Yahoo.com  
Rating: G  
Classification: (Harm/Mac)  
Spoilers: Family Secrets  
Summary: You think I'm going to give the story away?  
  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own JAG or the song Looking Out  
My Window Through the Pain that's written by John  
Schweers and performed by George 'The Man' Strait.  
  
  
*******************************************************  
  
Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment  
Georgetown  
  
No matter how much Sarah Mackenzie tried to get the  
noise out of her head she couldn't. Coming to full  
awareness, she realized that the noise in her head  
was that of the telephone.   
  
"Hello?" A sleepy Mac addressed the caller.  
  
"Mac listen I need your help. I can't talk long, but  
I need you to go to my apartment and bring me a bag  
of clothes at the airfield where I keep Sarah. Can  
you do it?" Mac's former partner Harmon Rabb Jr.  
asked in a hurried voice.  
  
"If you tell me what this is about."   
  
"At the airfield. Meet me there in an hour." Was  
thelast thing that Mac heard before the click as  
Harm hung up the phone.   
  
"Who was that love?" Mic Brumby Mac's fiancée asked  
as he rolled over and draped his large hairy arm  
over her.  
  
"Harm. Look Mic I need to go over to his place for a  
minute. He needs my help with something." Mac said  
as she removed the sheets and went to the bathroom  
to shower.  
  
"At three in the morning." Mic yelled.  
  
"Look Harm needs my help and I'm not going to  
abandon him when he needs me." Mac yelled back then  
she stepped into the shower wondering why Harm  
needed her.  
  
"He's not your partner anymore." An angry Mic Brumby  
told Mac when she stepped out of the bathroom ready  
to go to Harm's. "He transferred to the Hill."  
  
"He's still my friend. Look I'm not going to get  
into this with you. I'll call you later."   
  
Mac walked out the door, hailed a cab and left on  
her way to Harm's apartment.  
  
  
Airfield  
Leesburg, VA  
  
After stopping at Harm's and getting him an over  
night bag. Mac had the cab take her to the airfield.  
  
"Where are you running off to little lady?" The old  
cab driver asked Mac.  
  
"I'm not running off anywhere. I just have to meet a  
friend."  
  
"Your fiancée?" The cab driver asked as he pulled  
off onto the road that led to the airfield.   
  
"No. Just a friend. Pull up beside that yellow  
steermen." Mac pointed to Sarah where she saw Harm  
leaning up against it, his arms folded across his  
chest waiting for her.  
  
"That your friend?"  
  
"Yes." Mac said grabbing the bag and starting to  
open the door. "Wait here for me. I'll only be a few  
minutes."  
  
"Sure thang little lady." The cab driver's southern  
accent came through.   
  
Mac grabbed the gym bag containing Harm's clothes  
and jogged over to him.  
  
"Hey Mac thanks for doing this." Harm reached out  
for the bag, but Mac kept it away.  
  
"Do you want to tell me what this is all about?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Harm come on. You call me and wake me up from a  
dead sleep at 3:00 in the morning and tell me that  
it's nothing. I don't think so. Tell me what this is  
all about."  
  
"My grandmother died Mac and I'm the only one who  
can take care of her things right now." Harm started  
to tear up.   
  
"Oh Harm, I'm so sorry."  
  
"Yeah me too."  
  
"Is there anything I can do."  
  
"Only one thing and I know you wouldn't do it." Harm  
grabbed the bag and threw it in the back of Sarah.  
  
"You name it Harm and I'll do it."  
  
"Come with me." Harm stated looking deep into her  
dark brown eyes.  
  
"What?" Mac said barely above a whisper.  
  
"See told you that you wouldn't do it." Harm turned  
around and started to climb up into his plane.   
  
"Harm wait. I didn't mean it like that. It's just  
that I have a life here that waiting for me. I have  
Jingo and Mic at home. The Admiral's counting on me  
to be a JAG since we're so backed up. Believe me  
Harm if I could I would."   
  
"It's alright Mac. My cousin Jeff and his family are  
supposed to fly down next week so I'll have my hands  
too full to even notice anything. Bye." Harm started  
up his plane and started to taxi it out to the  
runway.   
  
Mac walked back to the cab with the words Harm just  
said to her on her mind.   
  
Belleville, PA  
  
Mac watched as the countryside passed by her as she  
drove toward Harm's grandmother's house. After going  
back to her apartment last night after meeting Harm  
at the airfield she couldn't go back to sleep so  
against her better judgement she back a bag and  
drove up to Harm's Grandmother's.   
  
When Mac got to Harm's Grandmother's she expected to  
see Harm's rental car and maybe his Grandmother's  
things but when she got there the driveway was  
filled with car and trucks. She parked her car and  
got out as a group of kids came running up to her.  
Mac stepped out of the car much to the kids'  
disappointment.  
  
"Can we help you?" The older of the kids asked. She  
was tall, with long blond hair that reached her  
waist.   
  
"Yeah I'm looking for the Rabb farm, but I think I  
have the wrong place." Mac said looking around. She  
was clearly on a farm. From where she was standing  
she could see three barns, a tractor, and several  
animals.  
  
"No you have the right place. It belonged to my  
great grandmother Sarah. What do you want from  
here?" The defensive girl asked.  
  
"I'm looking for Harmon Rabb. He's a friend of  
mine."  
  
"Harmon Rabb Jr. is in the house cooking. Harmon  
Rabb died along time ago."  
  
"I know I'm looking for..." Mac was interrupted by  
someone shouting.  
  
"Kids dinner's ready." Mac looked up to see her  
friend and one time her partner standing on the wrap  
around porch drying his hand's on a dish towel. Just  
then he looked up and saw Mac. "Mac!" Harm yelled  
and ran down from the porch trying not to run into  
any kids.   
  
Mac started running toward him and when they met  
Harm wrapped Mac up in a big hug holding on to her  
with all that he had.  
  
"What are you doing here? I thought you said you had  
a life back in DC that needed you." Harm pulled away  
from her.  
  
"I do, but someone really important needed me and I  
wasn't about to let them down."  
  
"Thanks Mac I really appreciate it."   
  
"No Problem. Now if you could tell me where the  
closest hotel is I'll go get checked in."  
  
"Well it about 45 minutes from here. So I suggest if  
you want you stay here. You may have to share a  
room. It seems the entire family showed up at once  
two weeks a head of time. Now come on let's go get  
you something to eat. If I know you and I do you're  
starving."   
  
"You bet." Mac said just as her stomach growled  
causing them both to laugh.   
  
When Harm and Mac entered the house the living room  
was filled with people.  
  
"Harm who are all these people?" Mac asked as Harm  
held her hand and pulled her into the kitchen.  
  
"Well I'll introduce you to them since you'll be  
staying with them." Harm pulled Mac back into the  
living room and started to introduce Mac to his  
family. "This is my cousin Jason and his wife  
Jackie." Harm pointed to a tall blond-headed man  
with Harm's eyes and a short brunette. Harm  
introduced Mac to all his family that was there and  
led her into the kitchen to talk.  
  
McMurphy's Bar  
Georgetown  
  
"What can I get you?" The bartender asked the poor  
soul that was seated at the bar.  
  
"Just a beer mate." The man told him.  
  
"Woman problems?"  
  
"How'd you guess?"  
  
"I've been there myself. My woman left me for  
another man, an old friend of hers."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yep and you know what I did?"  
  
"No what?"  
  
"I took that moment and wrote a song about it. Made  
me lots of money got a big singer to record it and  
bought this bar."  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Yep. You want to hear the song? I got it on the  
jukebox over there." The man pointed to an old  
jukebox in the back of the bar.  
  
"Sure why not. Maybe it'll give me an idea on how to  
handle this situation."  
  
"Be back in a minute." The bartender left and a few  
seconds later a song began to play.  
  
"I watched from my window as she slipped from the  
house  
Once again she's leaving, but lord she's not to  
blame  
This morning a memory phoned her and he's a habit  
she can't break  
So 'til she returns I'll wait for her  
Looking out my window through the pain."  
  
"The devil drove the taxi that carried her away  
And it hurts to know she's hung up on some guy from  
yesterday  
Once again she's chasing memories and I'm losing  
everything  
But I love her so I'll wait for her  
Looking out my window through the pain"  
  
"I'll pick up the pieces when he lets her down again  
With love and understanding I'll give her reasons  
this time to stay  
And I'll close my eyes pretending maybe someday she  
will change   
And I won't be left lonely  
Looking out my window through the pain"  
  
"Yes, the devil drove the taxi that carried her away  
And it hurts to know she's still hung up on some guy  
from yesterday  
Once again she's chasing memories and I'm losing  
everything  
But Lord I love her so I'll wait for her   
Looking out my window through the pain"  
  
"So how do you like it?" The bartender asked when  
the song was finished.  
  
"Man that was great and this really happened to  
you?"  
  
"Yep except I didn't sit around and wait for my  
woman. I let her go and the next month I ran into  
this cute little blond at the supermarket and will  
be married five years in March."  
  
"So you let this one woman go and because of that  
you found your wife?"  
  
"Yeah so really I have to thank this old friend of  
hers because if he hadn't have came around I would  
have never found the love of my life. Think about  
it?" The bartender said and walked away to serve  
another customer.   
  
Mic Brumby laid a ten on the counter and walked out  
the doors of the bar and to his and Sarah's  
apartment to pack his things and move on with his  
life.   
  
Rabb Farm  
Belleville, Pa.   
  
Harm and Mac spent a good hour in the kitchen  
talking while Harm finished cleaning up. They were  
starting to talk about how Harriet and Bud were when  
a tall, blond woman with Harm's eyes walked in.  
  
"There you are HarmON." The woman said emphasizing  
Harmon.   
  
"Hey squirt." Harm smiled. "Mac this is Jenny, my  
cousin. Jenny this is..."  
  
"Harm's Mac. Hi." Jenny stuck her hand out and  
looked at Harm giving him an innocent smile.   
  
"She's not my Mac, Jennifer." Harm told his cousin.  
"Anyway what do you want now?"  
  
"Just came in here to grab a coke." Jenny went to  
the refrigerator and grabbed a coke and left.   
  
"Harm I wish you would have called me sooner and I  
would have been down here with you when your  
grandmother died." Mac took Harm's hands in hers.  
  
"It's alright Mac. I've been surrounded by family  
this entire time so I would have noticed you."  
  
"What happens now, Harm?"  
  
"Well Grams left the farm to me and I'm definitely  
not selling it so I'll probably move out here and  
fix everything up."   
  
"What about your job in Washington?"  
  
"They asked me two weeks ago if I wanted to take  
command of the USS Harry S. Truman and I think I'm  
going to take it Mac. It's a good opportunity. I'll  
sell my place in Washington and move out here, fix  
the place up whenever I'm home."  
  
"Will you be happy?"  
  
"I think I will Mac. I practically grew up here,  
I'll be commanding a ship and I've dreamed of that.  
All my dreams are coming true."  
  
"I'm happy for you Harm."  
  
"Thanks Mac. I really think you mean that."  
  
"I do. Now if you don't mind can you show me where  
I'll be sleeping? I really could use some rest after  
traveling like that."  
  
"Up the stairs third door on the left. Do you need  
me to show you where it is?"  
  
"No I'll be fine." And with that she walked up the  
stairs thinking that once again her flyboy was  
leaving her for the wild blue sea.  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**********************************  
  
FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
  



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